What is it?

Everyone has seen the episode—it seems that almost every sitcom has one—when the big, tough, school bully has finally tripped the show’s main character in the cafeteria one too many times. The underdog tells the bully to meet him outside of school at three o’clock the next day and goes home to ask dad to teach him how to throw a punch. The next afternoon after the last bell rings, the underdog’s punch connects with the bully’s nose and he falls to the ground. The crowd that has gathered erupts into cheers and everyone knows not to mess with the little guy any more.

Not only is this television portrayal of bullying out-dated, it’s just plain inaccurate. Today, students who are the victims of bullying are more likely to be the subjects of vicious rumors or be shunned by their peers than be thrown in a garbage can or shoved in a locker. And although this form of abuse is not as visible as a fist fight, it’s just as hurtful. This sometimes subtle type of bullying happens everyday in schools across the country…

It’s called relational aggression.