Signs of Victims

Because victims of relational aggression are not likely to seek help from an adult, it is vital that parents, teachers, administrators and guidance counselors know some of the warning signs that a student is being emotionally abused. A victim of relational aggression may act:
• Secretive
• Sullen
• Moody
• Anxious
• Depressed
• Angry
• Sad

Victims of relational aggression may also engage in destructive behaviors such as:
• Abusing drugs or alcohol
• Eating either too much or too little
• Acting out in class
• Engaging in risky sexual behavior
• Talking about or attempting suicide

“It’s not fist fights. It’s much more subtle than that. And since it’s not out in the open a lot of teachers don’t even realize it’s happening. Most kids are smart enough not to call someone a name or make fun of someone in front of an adult. They’ll wait until there aren’t any teachers around,” says Dan, a high school biology teacher. “Teachers and parents really need to be aware that this behavior—excluding certain kids and saying really cruel things—happens all day, every day in schools. They have to be looking out for signs of it so they can help stop it.”