Kids Don't Tell

There are several reasons for young people’s silence when they are victims of relational aggression. First, some students believe that teachers, administrators and school counselors just won’t know how to help the situation.

Keira, a tenth grader, says, "I wouldn’t report bullying to a teacher or guidance counselor because it seems like whenever an adult gets involved the situation just gets worse. Adults forget what it was like to be our age, so their methods rarely work." Jessica, a high school student, claims if her peers were spreading rumors about her or shunning her she wouldn’t seek help from a teacher because she "doesn’t trust them."

Another reason students give for not wanting to tell a teacher or guidance counselor that they are victims of relational aggression is because they don’t want to be seen as a snitch or a wuss, as two high school students put it.

"People don’t want to ask for help because then others would think of them as a person who is weak and can’t stop the problem himself," says Jake, a ninth grade student. Maya, a ninth grader agrees, "Kids need to stick up for themselves. If you allow yourself to be treated that way you are subjecting your self to more abuse." Michael, an eleventh grader, says, "You have to learn to be self-reliant. Just ignore it. I would rather handle it my own way."

While students report that if the abuse turned violent, they would tell an adult, they are not likely seek help for verbal or emotional abuse from their peers.